READY?!

From Adekunle's Gold "Ready" music back in April, 2016, a lot guys and ladies love to sing the song but there's more to saying you're really ready to take your partner on and say "I do".  

 

A lot around us can make you want to just get married, Bella Naija pictures, Facebook feeds can be so beautiful and adorable, awww a lot ladies melts seeing these pictures, couple of my friends bore me with "wow, see this couple" Jezz, but I must confess many of the groom's tuxedo makes my body hair stands. Seeing these things and loving them doesn't make you ready, there is a difference between planning a wedding and planning a marriage.

A lot of things needs to be considered before marrying your partner, ask yourself, am I willing to look outside myself and put someone else's concern on par with mine? like myself for instance, I use to be very selfish that I hated the idea of carrying someones issues on with mine, I remember telling couple of my friends how I want to have a baby from a baby mama, nothing serious to do with the mama but just the kid. That mindset will never be Ready.

Willing to try is such a big step, our married friends, Uncles and Aunts can testify, couple of times I have had relationship talks where we have spoken about marriage in an abstract way, you hear us use the word "If" instead of "When" in regards to the future, and many a times, we toss around the words marriage, engagement and all.. they are normal.

These Signs which I considered to be Mental and Psychological signs but not Physical can show that you're Ready, Physical Signs as the world today will say includes, 'He is rich, He has a house, She can cook, He hasn't reach the appropriate height, She is still skinny to carry a baby, She is yet to graduate, He can buy her a car'.. I can continue till forever, I hear these stuffs everyday, those are the of the physical but I write to show Signs of Mind really Ready.

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• Have you been using the word "When" to "If" when you talk about your future? talking about the future in an abstract manner shows you're not ready, e.g when you discuss who you want your kids to look like and you say "I'll sure want my kids look like their dad", here what happen to the word "you" as "I'll want my kids look like you".. lol. Another instance is "how many kids would you like If  we get married?".. think about it.
• Have you been seeing the world the same way but only through different eyes? At the times your ideas and opinions about the world around you becomes not too different, you cannot ofcourse agree at all times but you do most times.
• When you both want to end any quarrel immediately, not going mute or locking up keeping grudges trying to see who speaks first, issues get resolved almost immediately it started, not a chance leaving one another in the angry mood for long.
• Have you known any of His/her messy sides? but you now make jokes of them that it doesn't bother you anymore? e.g when you already made tune out of his snoring habits..lol or maybe you joke with his height and stature calling him names that can be counted as insult but no offense was taken.
• Can you easily discuss monetary issues with no stress? Marriage is a partnership, success of it also depends on how you can manage monetary issues.. you both can easily negotiate who is paying a bill with no stress.
• Have you started seeing His/her people as yours? when you can discuss any issue about his/her family with one another and not keep it as a secret without making the discussion end of the world.
• You have never thought of changing him/her. A lot of crazy issues arises in a relationship, crazy issues I said and I know what I'm talking about but above all, you never for once thought of changing him/her.
• You are okay with having him/her around over going out or hanging with your n*gg*s or babes, you can watch him sing and perform your favorite music rather than go out to attend a Artist filled concerts.
• Have you had issues taking decisions that concerns only you without telling your partner about it. You're in a relationship, yes not yet married but when personal issues arises, like considering changing location because of a personal thing but you feel you need to discuss with her and see what she feels.
• You are at your very best when you're with them. You may not see these yourself but when people around you, family or so points out some good changes in you just because you're with your partner or he/she is around. lol, some sisters can be funny, they bug you with the most embarrassing winks and words pointing out the best behavior you got because of him, and you are there blushing like what I cannot explain. lol
• You don't worry something is missing? he/she might not be that perfect or you see something missing but you never bothered about it. Know that being in love and being ready for marriage are two different things. remember my last post "He is the one" where I mentioned Emotional Obsession. Being ready is way deeper than obsession based feelings.
• Have you fantasized about the day after your wedding with Him/her? Hmmmmn, lol.
• You are ready when Single Scenes no longer appeals to you. I read a John Malloy book, why some men marry some women & not others, Malloy interviewed men who are about getting married and realized that all of them make complaint about the single affairs saying drinking in bar, night clubs, different dates with different ladies etc really bores them. It is a sign that a man is ready, also applies to ladies. yeah.
• Coincidentally come across books online and articles on topics of relationship and marriage, I have come to conclude that both guys and ladies have their Biological Clocks.. this explains the timing at which guys and ladies mindset gets ready to settle, research shows guys clocks around 25 while ladies are lower as 22. but Biological clocks will not ring its alarm when a partner most especially men feels he is financially independent, they focus on winning financial security before having a family, which is 100% right. hustle on bro!
• Desires to be a Dad or Mom? Carol Morgan, a match maker observes and stated the you are getting set to take on marriage if you longingly stares at kids and suggest to your partner how beautiful your kids will be.
• He is your boyfriend in name- Husband in spirit? and Vice versa. He/she now acts like a husband or wife, you know exactly what I mean here.. things they do to you seems way deep than being in a "dating" state, Imagine he's honest and open, and when you enter the room he doesn't immediately make his computer screen go black so you can't see what he's doing. He'll even, oh! lol, let you answer his phone, and if he makes room for you in his closet, baby, your single days are numbered. If you're not sure about your guy's intentions, take notice of the way he acts and, more importantly, the way he talks about your future, same with the ladies, they get too helpful unusually     .

NOTE: Most people become “ready to get married” when they get married. Throughout history most people got married at a much younger age than people today. They were hardly “ready.” They got married because society and/or their religion expected them to. And then, once married, they tended to rise to the occasion, so its also possible but its better to ensure you're ready before taking the step.

Most of the young people at these times in this part of the world may either be ready mentally but not ready physically or financially, you just gotta continue working hard, you never can tell when things will fall in place, your mental readiness should encourage you to get all you need and never forget God factor, its important, you are lucky if your relationship inspires you to succeed quickly.

But quickly before I round up, this is a special section for all ladies.. Girls? this is what I call WARNING from Mide, most especially for girls who feels it should be time already na.. I don't have a clue on being a"Husband Material" but please, I have clue on "No Husband Material"

Signs he's not marriage material if he:

1.    Says he has no interest in tying the knot. Instead of trying to change his mind, believe him and move on.

2.    Buys a Porsche. Or other high-end items that no man saving up for a ring or a future would purchase. "If he acts financially immature and irresponsible, he's thinking 'me,' not 'we'.

3.    Calls his married friends "losers." If he wants to couple up, he considers a man and a woman building a future together beautiful, not pathetic.

4. Continually makes you cry, and they're not tears of happiness. If he's unreliable, abusive, a liar, cheat and/or uber-flirt, divorce yourself from this relationship before it takes a trip to court to do so.

I have taken several of your time, I hope its worth it.. i write occasionally on diverse topics, next one could be anytime, any topic, just stay tuned like I'm your favorite TV show. lol

Remember to check other write ups too, I'm sure you will love them. Thank you.

I am Mide Victory.